I'm Throwing Myself A Pity Party & Everyone Is Invited...

I've been feeling really sorry for myself lately. Any ideas on how to fix this? My hormones are all out of whack, so I'm hardly losing any weight. Thus I don't feel very pretty. And I'm hungry. I'm stuck in a dead end job that doesn't make me feel very smart. That used to be my one go to: at least I was smart. Now I just feel stupid. It seems like no matter how hard I try (at anything) I'm just spinning my wheels. I'm sure everyone has felt like this at some point but I could use some advice as to how to get out of this funk & get my confidence back.

So I haven't been drinking now for about 2 weeks. I feel like I'm not funny anymore. Maybe that was my crutch. I didn't notice it for the month that I wasn't drinking before (I guess because of my elation about the baby), but now I notice it. I'm sure it's better for my health (especially as I start trying to "prepare" my body for another baby) but it's certainly not better for my ego.

As the fall comes up I hope that puts me in a better mood. Maybe I'll go out & run more (& not feel like I'm absolutely dying of a heat stroke). Most days I just want to go home, lay on the couch with my doggies and watch Intervention. That always makes me feel better about my life. Every weekday morning I want to cry because I don't want to wake up and go to work. When oh when will I just get to lay in bed all day & feel sorry for myself? No one (especially Lee, Steph, etc) will ever let me & maybe that's a good thing.

On a happier note I finally paid off all my remaining credit card debt today (not that it was crazy, just from Cancun & the deck). So I do feel a little lighter (in my pocketbook especially). Tell you what though, I would rather feel lighter in this block of a body than in my pocketbook.

You Can't Always Get What You Want...

So I went to the doctor on Tuesday (in torrential rain thanks to Hermine) and she said that everything looks okay, she just wants me to wait at least one (preferrably two) cycles before we try again. Yuck. I was kinda hoping she would be like, "Awesome! Go ahead & go home & get after it!" but I should know better. The waiting continues...

Let me just throw out that I hate one-uppers. You know who I'm talking about: those people you work with, or are friends with or go to church with (or are related to) that always have to go one step beyond you. It was raining at your house? Oh, well they got at least 15" of rain. Did it rain pea-sized hail at your house? Oh, well they got softball sized hail. Did you have a headache last night? Well they had a migraine... you get the picture? If you are one of these people please try to recognize it & stop before people (like me) start to hate being around you.

New things are about to be started in the next month. Things that are good for me & my family (hopefully). Can't divulge too much right now, just throwing that out so yall will be thinking good thoughts for me :).

Also, I am on a new diet. It sucks. I can only have protein and select vegetables. Notice "buffalo chicken wings" was not on that list. That's because they are banned. I haven't gone a week without wings in about 5 years. I have a serious addiction. I am also addicted to hummus. So this is very trying on me. But if I don't do something drastic (and soon) I won't be able to (currently cannot) fit into the jeans I currently own & plan on wearing for winter. Wish me luck. I am also running some too but with this new diet I'm afraid my energy reserves are not what they used to be. Winter is my prime running season though so I better get on it! Half Marathon #5 is in February.

SEPTEMBER!!!

Finally August is over with. Thank goodness. I hate August. It is probably my least favorite month of the year. Not that September is my favorite, but it does mean we (Texas) are on the slope back down to some cooler temperatures, which I love. My theory: you can always add more clothing, but you can only take so much off & then you're just stuck being miserably hot. Bring on the Uggs & scarves!

We got season tickets to the TCU football games this year so I am pretty pumped about that. It was super sweet & unexpected (especially since he's an SMU alumni). Not that I am a "crazy" football fan, but I am an alumni and always loyal to my hometown team :). We went to Cowboys Stadium to see them beat Oregon and that was fun, but I don't feel compelled to go there again: too big for me. Go Frogs!

On a totally random note, last night I was flossing my teeth and I don't know what possessed me to do this but I actually smelled the floss. I almost barfed in my mouth. What in the world is between our teeth! I proceeded to brush my teeth (again) and rinse with hydrogen peroxide and scope. Lesson of the day: Never smell the floss!

This Thursday is my beautiful (18 month younger) sister's birthday. Happy birthday Lainey!

Also, thanks for the comments last month. They help immensely and I appreciate them!

On a more serious note, I go back to the doctor this Tuesday to see if they give me the thumbs up to start trying again for another baby so keep me in your prayers!